An Invitation For Purpose

Parashat Ki Tisa is best known for the episode of the Golden Calf. Even after the Israelites experience the miracle of the Exodus and the Revelation at Sinai, they still struggle to understand the Divine, falling back on what they know and making an idol – a golden calf – when they don’t feel Gd’s presence for the first time since leaving Egypt.

Moses, too, struggles to understand Gd, pleading in Exodus 33:13, “If I have truly gained your favor, pray, let me know Your ways so that I may know You.” Then in Exodus 33:21, Gd responds to Moses with an invitation: Hinei makom Iti, “See, there is a place near Me…” Gd invites Moses not to understand Gd, but to experience Gd — to be present with Gd, even if that experience is fleeting.

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The invitation “Hinei makom Iti” is a play on words. Rashi explains that the word makom, “place,” is another name for Gd’s Presence. And a midrash from B’reishit Rabbah goes further: “Gd says, ‘the place is by me,’ not ‘I am the place,’ because Gd comprises the universe, but the universe does not encompass Gd.”

Gd is in the world, but we can easily miss seeing Gd in the world. We can momentarily experience Gd, but a sustained experience of Gd is beyond our ability. That is why our ancestors created the Golden Calf. It is why Moses pleaded to know Gd even after all of his encounters with Gd.

We each have an invitation like the one given to Moses. It is an invitation for us to remember that there are moments when we feel deeply connected and filled with purpose, and there are moments when we feel empty and floundering. It is part of the human experience. So be okay with living in the void most of the time, as long as you open yourself up to experiencing those Gd moments when they do occur.

Rabbi Lisa Goldstein
Congregation Shalom of San Antonio