Home

I was driving home from work, sitting in traffic, and flipping through the radio, when I stumbled on a country song – halfway through – that I had never heard:

   Do you think Gd’s a person?

   Or is He just the sound of laughter through the walls in a place I haven’t found?

It made me think about this week’s Torah Parshah and the internal battles of faith we face, often alone. In Parashat Vayishlach, Jacob learns that the brother he deceived, Esau, was coming to him, armed with 400 men. Fearful, Jacob made the decision to divide his tribe, in the hopes that at least some would survive. After sending his wives, children and tribe members across the river, Jacob spent the night alone. But the night was not as lonely as he expected, as he found himself wrestling with another until daybreak. In some translations, Jacob wrestled with a man – some even speculate it was Esau; in others, Jacob wrestled with an angel; and modernly, some even posit that Jacob wrestled with only his internal monologue and faith. That next morning, when the being with whom he wrestled began to depart, Jacob pleaded to “be blessed.” And in exchange, Jacob’s name was changed to Israel, “he who prevails over the divine.” In this moment and the days to follow, Yisrael found himself a changed man: one of sorrow and repentance; one seeking to return “home.”

…

Growing up Jewish, I always felt a strong connection to my faith and identity. I spent the summers at Greene Family Camp and the weekends at my local synagogue. I went to college with major Hillel and Chabad presence and even joined a Jewish sorority. But as often happens in young adulthood, I found myself questioning my faith and identity; consciously alienating myself from the Jewish community. Only within recent years have I reconnected with Judaism, and it’s a direct result of the community found here in San Antonio. The Jewish community that has quickly become my home.

Our Jewish community here in San Antonio is special. With more than 20 Jewish agencies and synagogues, every Jew can certainly find their place of belonging. Our community – 12,000 strong – is a direct reflection of the lessons we’ve learned throughout history and the choices we each make daily to lift one another. We are a fortunate and giving community: we rally for each other and the causes that make the San Antonio Jewish community home. The easiest way to give back to this community – the community that has been there for each of us in our moments of triumph and moments in need – is through the Jewish Federation of San Antonio’s Annual Campaign, a collective giving effort that impacts children, families, young adults, and seniors; educates San Antonio at large; ensures our Jewish community is safe; and bridges our past to our bright future.

Like Yisrael, we will all experience moments of solitude where we wrestle with our faith, but may we always find our way back home. The home of lifelong friendships and community. The home of a shared and sacred identity. The home of tzedakah and tikkun olam. And in moments of darkness, may the lights of our Shabbos candles and hanukkiahs guide us back to where we belong: home.

Shabbat Shalom
Stephanie Kotick, Director of Development